Autism, X-Men, and Fear Driven Ribbon Wearers.

Recently,
I started hearing more and more about Autism in the media. I don’t know whether to think this is a good thing, or a bad thing?

I listen as stories are being, “shared,” on television regarding a person’s “fight against such n’ such disease.” They rally saying, “Find A Cure!” I'm sure a ribbon will soon follow this war cry. Ribbons hold power I guess?

The definition of disease is: illness.


I’m extremely tired of catch phrases like, “Fighting _____ disease.” You don’t fight with a disease. To use such imagery implies that it is larger than you.
“What we emotionally focus on is what we manifest.” –Dr. Joseph Murphy

My inspiration for writing this is due to our obsession with problems, specifically diseases. I venture to say that we actually like, or worse, enjoy our problems. They give us a sense of purpose, spawning a fight of: The People vs. the problems. We set up organizations that obtain our money to “fight”, we run 5k events to “fight”, and we inject an unnessessary fear within ourselves.

I have a particular beef with the latest “fight” on the top of the priority list; The Fight Against Autism. (cue the sounds of gun battle here, please)
Autism isn’t a disease by definition. It isn’t an illness. It is however, a neuroligical difference between a “normal brain” and an “abnormal brain,” as defined by doctors who aren’t inside the mind of an autistic person but desperately want to understand it. I don’t think all doctors have the same motivation.

In life, we have various professions in which specific personalities have contrasting motives. Some lawyers are good, some are bad. Some police are noble, some are corrupt. The Macro represents the Micro in all systems. I’m sure most medical professionals are genuinely interested in understanding Autism, but among the professionals are the self-proclaimed experts. You may be thinking that I am one of those self-proclaimed people, but I assure you, I am no where near being an expert on Autism. I just happen be Autistic, and like you, am capable of forming an opinion on various subjects, this one being no different, just a little “closer to home.”

My story: I was orphaned at birth, eventually adopted by a blue-collar family in Texas. In my adoption papers, the box was checked that specified “Autism,” in my file. My ignorant(I say that with kindness) family who wouldn’t take the time to figure out what that meant due to being overly anxious to have a child to love, more than a problem to fix. They never probed what the term, “Autism,” meant for them, likewise for my own development. I believe this was to my benefit.

When I started being steeped into social environments, I knew that I was different from everyone, almost instantly. I don’t believe that the other kids knew why I was different, but perhaps the subconscious energy I was emitting was off-putting to my peers? I wouldn’t conform to groups, clicks, or go along with social niceties. I wouldn’t find any answers to my oddities until much later in life. I wasn’t a snuggler, a hugger, or affectionate by definition. I didn’t look people in the eyes; instead, I intensely watched their mouths when they spoke. I was coined as being, “self-conscious and weird, “ or “depressed.” I was anything but! I was happy, proud, had a very healthy ego(still do sadly), and I felt that nothing was impossible for me. There were NO limitations in my own mind, to me. Yet, I displayed a huge amount of limitation when it came to relating to others, reading, writing, and following instructions in exam settings, homework, or sport. I’d become irritable at times, but usually when I was misunderstood, judged too harshly, or underestimated.


I had certain attributes that I was amazingly good at. Conversely, there were other activities I was flat-out terrible at. Physical things came easily, mechanical things were facinating, math was fun, music was thrilling, performing and being the center of entertainment was the reason I woke up in the morning.

What I feared being a part of: Going to movies with friends, role-playing games, board games, slumber parties, textures of certain fabrics, change in routine, english class, group sports, playing with dolls, loud shrill noises in certain environments, large crowds surrounding me, and other things related to the above. Oh, and playing 3-Dimensional video games isn't fun for me. Yet, hilarious for those watching me play and laughing at me as I get hung up on a pixel for 3.4 minutes. One day I will OWN my friends in Halo, but until that day...I'll suck at it.

I embraced my weirdness. I thought it was, “who I was,” and that was fine by me. My oddness was a-okay with my family as well. They too are a tad odd, so it was par for the course.

In my adult life, I have many friends ranging in age, race, social background, etc.. all of them are aware of my eccentric neurotic ways... they love it because it constantly keeps them guessing, guessing whether or not I'll snap. Just kidding, no really, I won't snap unless you blow an airhorn in my right ear. Then, I'll snap, and how!

My career choices are based soley on what I enjoy doing, and what I’m confident in. I had the unique benefit of having the things I was interested in, or showed talent in, nurtured and supported by my family, mentors, and friends.

The “norm” has always scared me. Extraordinary people throughout history were violently opposed by “the norm,” and had to have full confidence in their unusual ideas and motives. If those people hadn’t existed, we wouldn’t have cars, airplanes, wireless technology, computers, movies, musical genres, fashion, medicines, the use of electricity, government, etc… but someone in “the norm,” took a risk and listened to their insane idea and it gained credibility. That is the power that we as people have.

My point with all this? The term “Autism” is a giant blanket term that encompasses a lot more than a problem that needs to be fixed. I’d like to educate you all on a few things about this ‘Autism thing’. For one, the average IQ of most “normal” people, is actually below what the normal average IQ is of someone with Asperger’s Syndrome. A regression in social behavior is to blame for this “find a cure” mantra in social circles right now, regarding Autism. It’s fact the Autistic brain is wired differently than the normal brain of most people. That hard-wiring isn’t necessarily a bad thing! It’s all in how you look at it, which is the battle cry of someone with Autism.

The non-autistic brain vs. an autistic brain, is like comparing a car engine to a motorcycle engine. Both are fundamentally the same, yet they are operated with entirely different techniques & rules. If you drove a motorcycle with the same technique as a car, you’d crash in a matter of minutes.

If I drove a car with the same technique as a motorcycle, I’d be exerting a great deal of energy for nothing, and it wouldn’t get me anywhere, any faster.


The Autistic brain, in MY opinion, is like a complex lock. Once you crack the code, you can open up the Pandora’s box of ideas, talents, and magic. What cracks the code isn’t a specialized school or a therapy that focuses on the problems or calls it a disease. It is certainly not the attitude of fighting for a cure that will crack the code! The code is cracked by paying attention to what interests these unusually wonderful children, and then allowing them to delve into their facinations will full support by those around them.

I’ve often thought of my own mind as being overly objective. I believe that Autism is the disorder of objectivity. Have you ever been in a weird place, new place, or situation in which you feel like an outsider looking into a world you know nothing about, yet you SEE it objectively? Simular to people-watching in an airport, restaurant, mall, etc…
You see everything, but you don’t feel like you are in it. It doesn’t in otherwords, affect you negatively or positively. It just IS what it is.

If you can understand that, you can understand what it is like to be inside the head of an Autistic person.

If people on the “outside” are constantly wanting you to conform to their way of communicating, or being, in gross levels, wouldn’t it be natural for anyone to want to shut down socially? Especially if your hard-wiring suggests that you aren’t going to be good at conforming to what they are naturally good at. You aren’t being listened to anyway, so why try anymore? Right?

This is the reason, I believe, that autistic kids shut down and stop talking. You would to if everyone kept crying about how you don't "hug them enough." The thought of "hugging" someone just doesn't factor into what the Autistic kid is thinking about! I wasn't thinking about hugging anyone. I was thinking about how many tiles were on the ceiling, how I could convert my treehouse into an observatory...oh, and convincing all the boys in the neighborhood that I was a legitimate ninja. Hugging? Snuggling? Never thought of it until highschool, and only because multiple people kept hugging me when they saw me. I had no idea what to do in that situation, so I hugged back...

Let me share with you a real story that I had the priveledge of being a part of, and one that I think will drive the plot of this blog a bit further.

In December of 2006, I was working at a very well known children’s theatre in Dallas, Texas as a puppeteer. A family came into the theatre to purchase tickets for the holiday show. A mother, father, and their son. The boy was playing with a Tie Fighter toy from the wonderful, “Star Wars” movies. He was really, really, into that toy. They purchased tickets from me, and I began talking to the boy, who was around 8 years old, about his awesome toy.
I said, “Don’t you wish we had real Tie Fighters?! I think it’s possible to have them, maybe we should put our heads together and figure that out, huh? Do you think they work on a gravitational force field or strickly a magnetic shield that keeps them propelled back to the Deathstar?”

He very matter-of-factly said, “Well, actually I think magentic energy is probably how they return to the Deathstar, but what drives them forward, well..I’m still working on that theory.”

This boy’s mother began weeping. I was taken aback by it and thought, “Oh wow, did I do something wrong?, “What is going on here?”

She pulled herself together long enough to say the following, “How did you do that? We’ve never heard him speak, nobody has! Who are you? How did you do that?”

I knew the reality of what was going on right away. The father chimes in, and he, being just as emotionally shaken as she was said, “He has Autism. We’ve tried everything to get him to talk to us.”

The mother kept asking me how I managed to get her son to speak.

The secret I was keeping for years in my personal & professional worlds, was about to be out in the open. I was half-way scared of talking openly about Autism. Afraid that those who I professionally worked with would hear me and I’d be treated as sub-standard or incompetent thereafter. I knew in my gut that I had to be open about it for the sake of people like this family, and moreso, this child.

I said, “Well Maam, I didn’t know he had Autism. I don’t think anyone would know that by looking at him. What would you think if I told you that I have Autism?”

She chuckled and said, “yeah, but it’s clear you don’t have autism.”
I said, “Is it?”
I went on to tell her that I am Autistic, and the reason her son spoke to me wasn’t because I’m a fellow Autistic person, but because it was obvious to him that I cared about his interests --that he was really thinking about his spaceship toy and seemed to be playing with it as though he was analysing how it worked. I told his mother this, but then I said, “I didn’t think he was strange, he gave me the impression that he was a really brainy kid who was into science.”

As this conversation was going on, her son was beginning to look at the stage lighting, set pieces, etc… I went up to him and said, “Hi, My name is Mel. Since you like building stuff, would you like to watch the show from backstage? I could show you how the lighting board works?”
He lit up with excitement and ran up to his mother and for the first time spoke to her, “Mom, can I watch backstage with Mel?”

He remembered my name, knew to ask his mother for permission, and seemed to behave as though he’d asked her a hundred times for permission to do things.

Of course she accepted, but then I watched as the very natural fear took hold of her. She said, “can I go back there with you to make sure you are okay.” What followed was a fit of rage; screaming, holding and pulling his head/hair, and abusing himself. I stepped in and said, he’ll be fine. I looked at him and said, “Yo, dude, you’ll be fine right? Right. So let’s go!” He stopped instantly in his rage and seemed to snap back into the moment and said, “yeah, I want to see the light board.”

To sum this story up, I still keep intouch with this family. I found out that the family had spent over 20,000 dollars in therapy, both alternative forms of therapy, and regimented therapy, and had never had any breakthru moments prior to that day.

I told her that I was no expert, but I’m a better one than most because I know what it is like to be her son. I know what it feels like to have no way of communicating what you feel because you don’t think anyone will care about your big ideas, and sadly, most of the time they don’t. They clearly don’t seem to understand why you are drawn to spaceships, music, counting things, building things, taking apart stuff, textures, certain colors, sounds, etc…etc…? So, by that line of logic, I told her that she shouldn’t stop the therapy, but start to do something more important…
Listen, Watch, & Learn.

My favorite past-time, among many, is reading comic books. My favorite line of comic book lore is Marvel Comics, “X-Men.” I became fascinated with the series when I was young, and I’m probably more fascinated with it as an adult. “Art depicts history, reflects the present, and predicts the future.” –Stanislovski

For those of you who don’t know the series, “X-Men,” I’ll give you a quick synopsis of it. It is the concept of the X-gene, a mutation that begins to surface in human beings that gives them remarkable abilities. The X-Men, or mutants, feel that it is evolution; their existance on earth. The normal humans believe it needs a cure, is a threat to civilization as they know it, and something to be ashamed of if they have a child born with the X gene. In that, lies the resistance which propels the series forward, gives life to the plot lines, and I believe is a very exaggerated metaphor for a lot of things in real life today.

If the mutation or ability isn’t embraced, the mutant or person with the X-gene, can become a threat to society because they have no idea how to control their special talents. On the contrary, if the mutation IS embraced, they become a crucial part of society, inventing new ideas, being heros, and taking the human race to a new level of its development.

Do you see any symbolism in what I’m saying with this?

It’s not a secret that Autism is varied in many ways, takes on many forms, and can be creative or destructive. I think at some point, we will stop using the term, “Autism,” to describe its specific differences from that of a normal functioning brain. I hope we do. People often fear what they don’t understand. This saturation of phrases like, “Find A Cure,” or “Fighting Against Autism,” are merely social defaults to make everyone feel they are courageously trying to understand something they really don’t want to understand, but would rather throw money at.

What frustrates me the most is this victim-mode that parents of Autistic children seem to put on like they would their favorite sweater. Not all parents of Autistic kids do that, but a lot do. The pity-party they receive from others regarding, “how difficult it must be to have an autistic child,” or “how sad it is to see someone trying to raise an autistic child,” is like a drug for them. That type of sudo-compassion is destructive to the child and devastating the collective consciousness of society. It therefore crushes any hope that people like me, have, of NOT being grossly underestimated regarding our abilities and contributions to the world.

Entire programs are devoted to, “Understanding Autism,” in which a self-proclaimed expert(usually someone who founded a .org to raise money for Autism), rattles on, and on, but says nothing by the end of the 60 minute interview. The only conclusion they come to is how they have no conclusions! And this, THIS is supposed to be educating the world on Autism?

Their hook at the end of the program is, “Our organization needs donations for finding a cure so there is a hope for these suffering children who have Autism.” And you know what? People fall for that hook all-the-time. I’ve never seen any of those programs interview someone with Autism unless that person does something extraordinary. In which case, the focus isn’t on the thing they did, but on how someone with Autism managed to do ‘that’?!

Many of you probably watched the video of the highschool kid with Asperger’s Syndrom(autism),who was put into a basketball game as a “nice” act on behalf of the coaches-- the team was losing anyway, so why not? He ended up scoring multiple 3 point baskets over and over again, never missing, and thereby winning the game for the team.

It was amazing. But was it amazing because he had Asperger’s, or because he had never played basketball and managed to do that? Most people focused on the Asperger’s part of that magical event. He was interviewed because of his Autism, but not because of his amazing talent that effortlessly played out that night. Regardless of his condition, the act he displayed was worthy of the notoriety.

In closing this long, drawn-out and winded essay, I’d like to take a stand myself, as myself, and boldly state that I do not have a disease that needs to be cured. I am not ill. I do not have cancer, aids, or a broken bone. I am not broken.

Many children with Autism, who are silent out of frustration, would love to speak to you, if you would listen to them without putting expectations of your own preferred means of communication. They have ideas, many ideas. They could have the type of brain that is condusive for figuring out all the wonderful inventions in Star Wars, composing the next symphony, exploring a new planet, curing fatal disorders, or even writing an editorial on Autism?

The brain of someone with Autism is the same brain as yours, but certain areas in an Autistic person’s brain are not used as much, yet other sections of it are lit up like Christmas! Sections that most normal brains have no access to. Perhaps, our unusual brain can be utilized in something extraordinary for the entire evolution of the human race? Something to consider?
Possibly. There are a lot of things to consider in our short time on planet Earth, so while you are considering what type of pizza to order, what shoes to buy, which Dancing With The Stars contestant you’ll vote for, give a brief second of thought to this essay. If nothing but to begin the spark that could start the reconsidering of what Autism is defined as being.

Thanks for reading this.